I think I’m starting to get migraines. Boo.
Went to the Sarah Slean show last night. She was sublime as always, as was the opening act, Royal Wood. I was so surprised and delighted w/ him. I bought all three of his cds.
They both inspired me to want to write, which I need to get the hell on top of, since my debut’s next weekend (oh god).
So, apparently, someone called in to the station to request some SDD.
The dj, a friend, played the first track, the one w/ me singing Song w/ No Name, then talked up the show I’m gonna be in. She and her co-host told me how beautiful my voice was, how it inspired one of them to maybe start singing. Also, how much lighter I seem since I dealt w/ the crush situation.
Life is good right now.
I’ve had a lot of trouble going to bed at a decent time and consequently, getting up on time. So today, I’m trying something different - I’m not showering before I go to work.
I know most people don’t shower/wash their hair every day, but I feel really off if I don’t. But, no time today.
We’ll see…
I’ve been really surprised at my resiliency the past year or so.
After a night of tears and thinking bad thoughts, I feel much better. Much better than I would’ve thought possible, really.
Thanks to those who helped, as always.
I’m still very disappointed. And lots of what people said to help is utter b.s. (”it’s not a rejection of you”, etc.). While I understand the motivation, it’s easier for me to deal in the truth. I talked to a friend this morning about his own heartbreak. How the girl said something kinda cruel, how he was hurt for a bit, but then looked at it, saw some of the truth in it, and changed some stuff about how he lived his life.
Anyway, I’m stronger than I realized. Disappointed as all hell, but strong.
The crush and I talked today. But not about the email I sent. I guess I wasn’t clear enough. Either that, or he’s insane.
Regardless, I just sent another one which is much clearer in its intentions and expectations.
Wish me luck.
I still feel brave and proud and as if a huge weight’s come off me. Also, still scared and will be really sad when he says, “No”.
…an hour or so later…
Which he did. Which doesn’t surprise me. Suddenly my zen attitude has left me.
Without the ugly years, when do you learn to accept yourself?
- from an article about how some women take their daughters (who’ve often not yet even reached puberty) to get various beauty treatments, including Brazilian waxes.
Slate has a really cool feature, Interviews 50 Cents. The latest is a poignant talk w/ a father talking about how the sadness at the death of his son changes, but is constant, ever present. The way he describes grief is poetic and lovely.
It breaks my heart into a million pieces the way some men, older ones in particular, can talk about sorrow w/out breaking down.
A story of a father and daughter who are also a couple. It’s gross, but quite an interesting piece on Australia’s 60 Minutes. The psychiatrist in the piece says the phenomenon of Genetic Sexual Attraction is more common than people think.
I have slightly less of a problem w/ the story of the half brother and sister couple, but only very slightly.
The father daughter team - ugh. He left the mother when the girl was just a year old and they met when she was in her late thirties, I believe. So, she didn’t grow up w/ him. But, Christ on a stick - so what? I can’t even imagine the mentality of this. At all. Blech.
Oh, and they have a child together, who appears healthy.
I’m not sure if I’m more confused by their relationship or the fact they outed themselves on t.v., ensuring a nightmare existence for the couple, the little girl, and the daughter-wife’s two kids from a previous relationship.
Thoughts?
Oh, and thanks to Nothing to Do With Arbroath for the link.
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